A needle-sharp pain in the bottom of my foot kept me awake for an unknown period of time last night. And it was bothering me periodically throughout the morning hours, too, so much so that I actually cried out once while sipping my coffee and saying my prayers. My daughter, moving around the same rooms on that floor of the house, even asked, "Mom, Are you alright?"
Apparently, the inflammation due to Lyme has migrated to the bottom of my right foot. But I put on my sneakers a few hours later and went for my planned walk anyway, determined to follow my very gentle exercise plan, since I find that I am finally strong enough to exercise again. But I also have asthma now, which is also likely due to the inflammation due to Lyme, so walking outside is more like swimming now. The humidity is high and with asthma, I feel the moisture keenly. We are all moving and breathing underwater every moment of the day.
But I pushed myself forward and pushed play on my current audio book: The Great Divorce. I happened to be at the part in the story where the ghosts are struggling to move around Heaven because the grass is so sharp it pierces the bottoms of their feet. Uncanny timing, that... my feet were aching, too.
I struggled on and listened on and the story was the best pep-talk God could have provided for my spirit. I, too, am coming out a literal Hell-a few years of Lyme eating away at body and spirit- and now I find myself in a world too hard and real for my soft, weak self.
But I'll keep moving through the pain in the direction God beckons. The alternative direction is unthinkable. One needs to come to God from wherever they are, however they are, if one is to come to God in Truth. And, as I listened and walked on, I was reminded that someday, all of this will be redeemed. I will look back and see this terrible path, too, is holy.
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