These are good, but they are not You.

The Lord may give us everything we want, but it is likely to break our hearts. Not because what we want isn’t good, but because what we want isn’t good enough. Even His best gifts are no substitute for Himself. So He breaks my heart with His gifts. In His love, I find Him heaping good upon me, faithfully schooling me over and over in that same old Truth, until again I can see and say by heart, “These are good, but they are not You.”

"To Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever"

Me: "Lord, I love your world! I enjoy so many things!"

God: "You were made for it all."

Me: "There isn't enough time for it all."

God: "You were made for me."

Me: "You are Infinite."

God: "Yes. Exactly."

Me: "There is plenty of time then."

God: "Yes. Eternity."

Fear not, little wren

Fear not, little wren.

Your nest is in mine

And I am in God, you see.

For He brooded first,

Now we do the same,

And over our songs He sings.

I Will Have God's Terms

I stood in a tent of war, my enemy's tent.

He stood with his guard in battle array, his army aligned behind him, just over there, right through the canvas.

Terms of peace were laid on a table before me.

If I only back down here and in this way and in that way, I will have peace.

I looked side to side, no angel of the Lord that I could see.

I stood alone and understood myself entirely.

I am nothing to be here, to stand up to these...

But then I remembered my God.

I did not see Him, or His troops. I did not even know the terms of the contract He sent with me. (His terms are a mystery to me still.)

But nevertheless, I looked at the enemy straight and said,

"No. I will have God's terms. I will have my inheritance and my destiny."

I do not know what comes next or what may happen to me, but I know my God.

He is worthy of all faith and unwavering allegiance.

It is only fitting that any one of His servants remain faithful to her given task, no matter how small she be.

Glorious and mighty is the God who sent me!

I will have His terms for my life and my children's lives and their children's lives...

come what may.

I will have God's terms!

God's Relentless Love

Thank God for His relentless love for me.

Thank God that He wants to heal the deepest wounds in me.

Thank God He wants to make my faith genuine.

Thank God He did not reserve the greatest trials for only the greatest saints.

These trials are not meant to destroy me, though they are destroying much.

Everything within and without quakes and burns.

It is simply that He, being a good Father, and True, wants to minister grace to the deepest places,

and He values nothing so much as that grace He means to give me,

because He values me above all.

Ministries, relationships, my sanity, my faith, all these can fall away and even be strained to breaking,

so far is He concerned for the healing and the grace He means to minister to the innermost place.

He will teach me to know wisdom as He said He would.

Like a small child who fights the doctor, because he holds a needle, I misunderstood my Lord.

But I am grateful He did not value my good opinion so much as to hold himself back from doing what was needed for me.

At the very end, I believed He knew better than me, and so I swallowed the remedy He poured out, though I thought I may drown in it,

knew I may die from it.

Though I did die,

and still do.

So be it.

He knows best.

Now I am being healed, so now I can begin to see.

I live as He promised.

He is with me.

He is so, so good, so much sweeter than I ever knew.

He has my unwavering devotion.

I believe Him, though the mountains give way.

I trust Him.

He means to do me good.

He is making me real, fitting me for Himself.

So in the midst of suffering, I say now, while it is still sacrifice and offering to do so,

Blessed be the Lord God Almighty!

His love is incredible!

His presence is dearer to me than life!

Easter Church and Egg Hunt 2018

 

My Life Looks Nothing Like I Thought It Would

Me: "My life looks nothing like I thought it would."

God: "Your plans were boring, far too easy. Let's do this other thing, too."

He rubs His hands together.

I look at His hands and grow nervous and then look up at His face.

Our eyes meet.

He sees my hesitation, seems taken aback.

God: "It sounds fun to you, right?"

I look down and consider. My heart swells with joy and excitement, my cheeks flush, my pulse quickens...

I look up.

His gaze comes up from where it had been for a moment, on my heart, and He smiles at me knowingly.

I smile back.

Me: "But it's crazy.  It's so far beyond me that it'll be impossible without you..."

God: "Exactly."

Then I see His hands reach out to go to work.

 

A Gift for the Giver

When I come into God's presence and see His glory and feel His love, 

almost the very next thing I think is, "What can I repay the Lord for all He has done for me?" 

Like a small child with the impulse to bring something of worth, I look around and find that everything is a trifle. 

My greatest work is a stick drawing. 

But I seem to bring this anyway, though now I can see that it is nothing beside Him.

And just like when my children come to me bringing gifts of daises or something fashioned from the clay, I do take their gift, 

but the next thing I do is take them! 

Up! 

Into my arms! 

And that is when we are most happy.

This is how it is when God receives me.

He receives my worship, but the very next thing He does is take me! 

He takes me up! 

In!

Deeper still.

And then, before He puts me back down, He whispers kind things over me. He reminds me of what I know to be true. In a moment, He tells me a story, the whole story. 

"For this reason alone I have done aught, since the dawn of time..."  the story begins and ends.  

So that I (and you), so that we, 

can simply, extravagantly, 

be with Him.